"The Stone Operation"
Words and Music by Just A Hobby
Appears on Pish Posh 

Master, cut the stone out. My name is Lubbert Das
Ad I've come upon you faithfully for this just and worthy cause.
My wife is in the nunnery. My children long to rule.
And all have forced me from my house and branded me the fool.
So I've journeyed to this Netherland in hopes of finding you.
Sit me in your wooden chair and do what you must do.
Oh, father give me comforting. Release me from my sin.
Master find the proper spot within your cone of tin.

Master! Cure my dullard's brain.
Master! Make me free again.
Master! I don't feel the pain.
Master! Make me whole again.

Master find me worthy. Master do me right.
Master pinpoint your incisor on this holy night.
Master find me faithful. Master do me good.
And if the scalpel has been cruel, I will have understood.

Master! Master! Master!

Sister please forgive me for the book upon your head.
And if you think me still quite dull, I say that book is read.
Oh thank you lord my master. You've cleansed my earthy pall.
For now I know twas but a flower and not a stone at all.

Master! The curtains closed the play.
Master! I'll soon be on my way.
Master! I'm going home today!
Master! If I can find the way...